Afraid
by TJ6
Summary: Spoilers for Ep 5.04, Becker attempts to do some security stuff but ends up contemplating his relationship with Jess.
1. Chapter 1

_So I've never posted anything for Primeval before, but I absolutely adore the show and all the lovely Jess/Becker moments in ep5.04 made my life! :) I'm not British, so please excuse any errors. Please review, I was thinking of at least one or two more chapters for this story, but if you guys like it and if there are more inspiring Jecker moments in the show who knows... Much love!_

**AFRAID**

Becker closed his eyes and grimaced as he smacked his head against the wall directly outside the bunker. Security stuff? Seriously? He was such a moron sometimes. Especially when it came to one, Jessica Parker.

Pushing away from the wall Becker started towards the armoury. He might as well do some of the 'security stuff' he'd claimed he had to do, although he was quite certain he really wouldn't get anything done.

He'd been _so close_ to losing her… Not that he'd ever really had her to start with. Sure, he knew of her massive crush on him, but other than a few flirtatious conversations and a hug or two neither of them had acted on it. He could hardly call Jess _his_, could he?

It chafed him to admit it, but he was kind of afraid. Yes he, Captain Hilary James Becker, was afraid.

Becker shook his head as he gathered several EMD's. He stuffed two of the smaller ones into his thigh holsters and was adjusting the setting on the larger one in his hands when he made a snap decision. Making his way to the back of the room Becker stalked into the weapon's locker. Searching the shelves methodically he grinned slightly when he found what he was looking for. His favourite gun.

He slid the Glock into the waistband of his BDU's and almost sighed at the reassuring feeling of the gun pressed against the small of his back. That was one of the things he missed most about his guns since they'd started using the EMD's; the feel of them. The way the cold metal heated against his skin, the recoil a split second after he gently squeezed the trigger. He missed the smell of his guns; the oil he used to clean them, the acrid smell of gunpowder which he could almost taste after he fired.

Becker nodded his head, placed the large EMD back on it's shelf and drew his Glock from the back of his pants. If any of those bloody beetles had survived the gamma radiation they sure as hell wouldn't survive him. After what they'd done to his Jess he almost wished one of them had survived.

He lowered his gun when he realized what he'd just thought. Not only had it all come back to Jess, _again _(as most of his thoughts did these days), but now he'd come to think of her as _his_ Jess.

And bam! There was that fear again, coiled tightly in his belly. Not fear of the girl so much, because honestly… He was a Sandhurst trained soldier. One of the youngest Captains the SAS Mobility Troop had seen in years. Not to mention Special Ops… (He really wasn't allowed to mention Special Ops, it was classified.) There was no way he was scared of a 5'4", 100lb girl. Woman, he corrected himself. Bad things would happen to him, courtesy of Jess Parker if she found out he'd called her a girl (even if it was just in his head).

So what was he so scared of, if it wasn't the _woman_ herself?

Maybe it was the fact that he was already wrapped around the red head's little finger and that was a place he'd never been before. Yes, he followed orders and commands, had done his whole life. First from his father (who made him and his siblings call him Colonel), then from the teachers at school, his instructors at Sandhurst, his CO's in the army, and now from Lester and the team leaders at the ARC. He found himself obeying orders all the time. It wasn't until Jess that he found himself driving half an hour out of his way to find the perfect orangeless chocolate. (Just to see that smile of hers, the special one she only gave him.) Still he wasn't really scared of that… The smile kind of made it worth it.

Becker was pacing in the corridor outside of the armoury, not even pretending to be doing 'security stuff'. He'd never really put this much thought into his Jess situation before, but now he was bound and determined to figure it out.

He was a bit shocked at the mental hold Jess had over him, but he wasn't scared of it. So what was it? Her looks maybe? She was beautiful; her long, slender legs, her guileless blue eyes, even her ridiculous shoes… But he knew lots of beautiful women. Jenny and Emily both had a classic, elegant kind of beauty, Sarah had had a darker, exotic prettiness and Abby had her own fierce good looks. It wasn't the fact that he thought her gorgeous Becker decided.

Looking around at the dead bugs covering the floor Becker frowned. That could only mean one thing. Feelings. He knew he was emotionally stunted (his sisters delighted in reminding him and his brother that they'd inherited that trait from the Colonel). So what to do about it?

He was surprised to find himself running through the darkened hallways of the ARC. He tucked his gun back into his pants as he stood in front of the bunker doors. He hadn't been gone that long, they were sure to still be there.

They were. And they were all startled when Becker came barrelling back into the room. Matt, Connor, and Abby had sequestered themselves in a corner while Emily was helping Jess stand by the cot where he'd left her.

"Finished with your _security stuff_, then?" Abby asked with a slight smirk on her face.

Becker ignored her and walked up to Jess. "Becker?" the field co-ordinator asked in concern, a frown marring her pretty face "Are you-"

She was cut off when Becker pulled her toward him and kissed her for all he was worth. Jess stood stock still for several seconds before carding her fingers through his hair and returning the kiss.

Emily and Abby exchanged knowing smiles, while Matt held his hand out to Connor. The scientist grumbled good naturedly as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket. When Matt had a crisp 20 pound note in his hand he cleared his throat.

Becker pulled his head back slightly but continued to crush Jess against his body in a tight hug. "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again."

The red head nodded mutely before laying her head against his chest and closing her eyes, savouring the moment.

Becker laid his cheek on top of her head and kissed her hair lightly. How could he have ever been afraid of _this_?


	2. Chapter 2

_Alright, so here's the next bit, this part's more Jess's POV. I wanted to get it out before this week's episode. I've got my fingers crossed for some more fabulous Jecker scenes. Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming!_

_TJ xx_

**ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED…**

Jess sighed for the umpteenth time as she gathered her things from around the hospital room. "Should you really be up and about already?" Abby asked.

"I'm fine, Abby." Jess reassured her, stuffing her yellow cardigan into her giant red handbag. "It was just an allergic reaction, the doctor already cleared me."

Abby smirked as she tossed her car keys from one hand to another and followed her friend from the room. "I wasn't talking about your allergy attack Jess." The blonde chuckled under her breath as a blush spread across Jess' cheeks.

"It was a good kiss, wasn't it?"

"You kidding?" Abby grinned "If you two had gone on much longer I might have taken Connor off and had a good snog myself."

"Abby!"

"What?"

"You're horrible." Jess grinned.

"Speaking of snogging…" Abby nodded to Becker, who was heading down the hallway towards them. "I'm going to go find Connor." She winked at Jess before turning and heading the opposite direction.

The field co-ordinator shook her head and stood patiently until Becker approached her. "Hi." She said softly.

"Hi." He repeated, giving her a quick once over. "You alright?"

Jess barely stifled another sigh "Yes Becker, you were here when the doctor said I'd be fine."

"You nearly died, Jessica." Becker frowned "They've only kept you 6 hours. Are you sure your doctor's qualified? Let me talk to-"

Jess gently laid her hand on Becker's arm. "Becker, I'm fine. My doctor was more than qualified, Lester made sure of that. Will you please just take me home?"

"But-"

"Please?" He stared into her eyes for nearly a minute (whether he was searching for lingering fever or simply lost in them he wasn't sure). "I'm really alright." Jess reassured him again.

Becker finally nodded and tucked the hand she'd placed on his arm into his larger one. "Yeah."

"So…" Jess started when the two were standing silently in the lift. "About what happened…" Becker looked down at her as she trailed off, tensing up slightly. He wasn't sure that he was ready for this conversation. "Did I do or say anything? Because the last time I was stung by a wasp I told my friend Caroline I thought her hair was on fire; just because it was red-"

"Wouldn't you have thought that your hair was on fire too?"

"What?"

"Your hair's red as well."

"My hair is _not_ red." Jess said indignantly. "It's brown."

Becker just cocked an eyebrow at her. "Okay…"

"You didn't answer my question." Jess said with one last half-hearted scowl.

"Well," Becker started as they stepped off the lift into the lobby "apparently you're quite fascinated by hair when you're suffering from anaphylactic shock."

Jess groaned "What did I say about your hair?"

The captain shrugged and smirked as he remotely unlocked his company SUV; Jess wondered how it was that he could look so smug and nonchalant at the same time. "Just that it was lovely."

"It is lovely." Jess allowed as she got into the passenger seat.

"You also asked if you could touch it."

"Well that's… mortifying."

Becker just smirked again and smoothly pulled out of the hospital's car park. "You also told me you hate me."

"I don't." Jess denied vehemently.

"I know." Becker reached over and grabbed hold of her hand again.

Jess looked down at their clasped hands and smiled softly as Becker ran his thumb across her knuckles. "I do remember one thing."

"What's that?" Becker asked as he navigated through the busy London streets.

Jess held up their hands "This. I remember you were holding my hand when I woke up." She lowered them back into her lap and sandwiched his hand with hers when he began to pull away. "Don't."

"Jess… About what happened in the bunker…" The field co-ordinator kept her face expression free, not sure she liked where this conversation was going. It had taken Becker forever to make a move and she wasn't sure she could handle it if he tried to take it back. "I just want you to know that I don't regret it." Jess let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding and felt a huge grin steal over her face. "I mean, I kind of wish it hadn't been in front of the whole team… Connor won't leave me alone, and Matt and Abby keep _grinning_ at me… But the part about you and me? I just-"

"Me too." Jess squeezed his hand. Becker squeezed back glad she just _got it_ and he wouldn't have to continue making a fool of himself by talking it to death. "Just one question though."

"What's that?"

"What took you so long?"


End file.
